I Still Believe

by peter la grand

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released May 11, 2012

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Track Name: I Still Believe
I dreamed about you again last night. Your wild hope in the morning light. Your crooked smile and your poetry, playing baseball in an open field—all the things that are still haunting me. Brother, are you still holding on to visions that we had when we were young? Do you remember all the promises written down in so many books? Words that meant so much to me. I still believe all the stories you told to me. Are you listening? I still believe in you.

Bunkbed Nights, lazy saturdays, walden pond winter escapades, typewriters and cigarettes, redwing boots and cowboy hats: a partial list of ingredients. Sometimes I feel your ghost right behind me seeing all the things I want to see: streets covered with candles, mad farmers in overalls—shouting hallelujahs from the trees! I still believe we are shadows of who we are meant to be, fighting just to breathe. I know all your history. We all fall apart from time to time.
I still believe in you.
Track Name: Circle
Set aside your work today
What can you hope to gain?
You have done all that you can do
Here, a bottle of wine
for your worries and for mine
We have nothing to prove

Open your arms if you want to be held

See the summer flowers bloom
smell the air’s sweet perfume
hear the wind dance through the trees
taste the lovers mouth in yours
all good gifts given for us
We are beggars but we are free

Open your arms if you want to be held
Sit down in this circle here
and open your arms if you want to be held

We’ve been looking for so long
for a place to belong
We are blind and we are scared
For tonight let’s give up
and let the morning come to find us
Tonight I want to be held

Who among us can add an hour?
What can we do but believe?
and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow and receive

Open your arms if you want to be held
Sit down in this circle here
and open your arms if you want to be held
Track Name: Prodigal
Prodigal

This is the road I have chosen, I haven’t made it far
It takes all my strength just to crawl
I see them staring at me I hear their calls
I fell a long time ago, yeah I got lost

It’s the same old story, but this one’s mine to tell
There was a girl I loved and she loved someone else
Then there was only the bottle between me and death
And I’ll do anything to get away from that

You may not believe it, I was the favorite son
I had everything and I blew it all
I don’t know how I came to be this lost
This is my last chance to make it back

I left with it all
To hide my broken heart
And I burned bright to try to lose myself
But I could not finish the job

If you see my father don’t tell him where I am
I just have to make it this once on my own
I’m just trying to make it, make it home
I just want to make it, make it home
I just want to make it, make it home
Track Name: Michelle
Michelle

At first light I can see the snow high on the mountain
As my bus makes its way down Hastings street it is my one consolation
I see her every time I come, every time it’s the same conversation
“Can you spare some change?”
“Michelle not today I’m sorry I have none”

I know more about her history than I really care to
“I have two children you know,” she says, “ but they took them both away”
“I was only seventeen when I first felt the needle
My boyfriend said it takes your troubles away and I believed him”

Holding on to a life in pieces, she still smiles everyday

She has family she says to me way up there past the mountain
She was raised up to believe she shares a soul with that land
“Up there in the lakes and trees is what it must be like in heaven
still way down here that spirit speaks to me in the wisper of the wind”

Holding on to a faith in a mountain, so close but too far away

The dying light of the sun each day, it rests high on the mountain
I hold her name up to that place that she still believes in
That spirit she says lives up there, I hope is strong enough to rescue
One who is lost but still believes with the faith of a child

O Michelle may your faith move that mountain.
May you find your way home.
Track Name: Backroads
Backroads

We took our time, we took it all slow
We drove past the highway and took the back roads
We listened to country and old gospel songs
We listened to Mahalia Jackson and you sang along

Now you won’t even answer my calls
You must have found someone better to hang around

It’s up for discussion because there are no rules
This bond is strong and love endures
But silence is deadly, indifference kills
So if you want this over just don’t say a word

Now you won’t even answer my calls
You must have found someone better to hang around

I felt your anger—but I was so slow
I never noticed that I was the source

Like David for Jonathan is how I felt for you
I wanted only your dreams to come true
I never guessed you didn’t want me around
I waited so long for you there in the dark

I hope that you have the best life of all
I hope that you are still singing along
Track Name: When The Trumpet Sounds
When the trumpets sound

O mother
I’m dying every day
I understand why you spoke those hard hard words
to warn me of my ways
O father
Did you live your dreams?
You tried to follow your heart in all you did
you gave up every thing

Soon enough we will have to part
Your journey done, mine at the start
But we’ll meet again when that trumpet sounds
when that trumpet sounds

O brother
Let’s share this night
I need to hear your voice fill up this room
to know that it’s alright
O sister
Will you lie next to me
Some nights I feel so alone and cold inside
You’re all I can believe

Soon enough we will have to part
But you will always be in my heart
We’ll meet again when that trumpet sounds
that trumpet sounds

O Father
can you hear up there?
You have provided everything I need
but I still despair

And soon enough my time will come and
I will rest my trials done
But I’ll rise again when that trumpet sounds
when that trumpet sounds